Just in time for Thanksgiving and a visit home....that Family of Origin can be a challenge. Do you turn 10 years old when we walk through the door? Keep your thoughts light and their "stuff" in their basket...HAVE a great Thanksgiving. Join GOT HOT? on Facebook for free relationship tips.

Happily Ever After Story

I Don’t Love You Any More
by Thurman C. Petty, Jr.

Early in my ministry I became so eager to succeed in as a pastor that I worked for the church from 14 to 18 hours a day, seven days a week. I seldom ate with my family or spent any time with them except at church functions. I saw our daughter Lydia in the morning when I sent her off to school. I pecked my wife Martha on the cheek as I left for some church responsibility. And I often came home late at night after the rest of the family had gone to bed.

Then one horrible day I realized that Martha hadn't told me she loved me for a long time. I asked her why. She told me, quite frankly, 'Because I don't.' That came as a shock to me, because I thought we had a good marriage based on love. So why didn't she love me anymore?

During the next few days I began to realize that I had been the guilty culprit. I had driven away Martha's love by my lack of attention, my ceaseless work, and my selfish grasp for the goodwill of the church. I'd spent so much time with my work that I didn't even know her anymore and it was just as obvious that she no longer knew me. What should I do? I still loved Martha. I didn't want to lose her!

About that time I received a call to pastor a two- church district in another state. The ministerial secretary (pastor’s director) had been a close friend of the family whom I had known for many years. One day I told him: 'I've got a problem with my marriage. Martha says she doesn't love me any more. I think I need some time to work this out.'

'That's all right with me,' he said. 'Whatever time it takes, you should spend it.'

And so I began to spend about half of my time with Martha―doing things with her we'd always enjoyed. We worked together, shopped together, played games together, assembled picture puzzles together, went out to eat together. All during this time I didn't know if I was reaching her heart, if she was growing to love me again.

And then one glorious day Martha came to me and said, 'I love you'―for the first time in over two years. I'll never forget the relief that flooded my heart and my thankfulness to God for bringing us together in love once more.

I decided right then that, God help me, Id never again allow our love to become estranged. And so today I spend a lot of time with Martha, time well spent on nurturing our family life. I know what it's like to lose the love of someone I treasure very dearly, and I don't want that to ever happen again.

That was over 40 years ago, and we’ve had some rough times since then. But we’ve pulled together and kept it going. Today we’re retired in Montana, thoroughly enjoying our time together. We’ll have our 50th anniversary in August of 2010. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

Been two years....WOW been busy.

Sometimes a little romance can go a really long way. A loving touch on the check, a sweet word on support, a look of connection, can all be romantic and deepen the emotional intimacy in a relationship. That soul mate connection feel so wonderful. What is hard to remember, is that during the work of living and keeping up with the pace of this current world, those wonderful moments that keep the soul mate connection and deepen the emotional intimacy happen less and less often. Paying attention to our relationship and the feelings of our partner help to keep the connection firm. CARE that is the word for today. It is, in my eyes, the most romantic word in the English language. Think about it, how romantic it is to have someone really truely care about you. Someone who cares about what you think and feel and crave. Someone who is in a loving relationship with you and cares enough to work at deepening the connection you have. Give the CARE word a chance, and remember those little things that deepen the emotionally intimacy of your relationship.

Light his Fire

Men need to know they are loved and they enjoy being pampered too. Ask your man what he would like. Men may like you to;

*Notice Him
*Notice his taking care of things...any things...you get what you notice.
*Notice his shoulders, arms, eyes, cute butt....hwatever you think is "fine."
*See the "light her fire" list for ideas for him also.
*Dress sexy (the way he thinks is sexy) for him.
*Buy a large feather and use your imagination. Perhaps "tie" him up with a scarf and use the feather allllll over him.
*Smell good.
*Snuggling with him in the middle of the night can be romantic, whether it leads to sex or not.
*Meet him at the car, if your are home first, with a glass of something nice to drink and a "Hello" kiss. Just because!!

Use your great imagination. Have fun with this. Be ready for the love you get back.

Light her Fire

Try these ideas to light her fire. If you want to know what your woman wants ask her.

*Kissing
*Touching
*Candlelight
*Soft Music
*Good smells
*Some effort to create a romantic atmosphere
*Non-Sexual touching; hugging, massage, caresses
*Tell her she is sexy
*Tell her she is loved...outloud with words
*Turn off the TV and turn onto her
*Talk to her about-everything/anything
*Plan a picnic - alone with her (even if it is on the living room floor)
*Gentle kisses and almost sexual touching until she begs for more
*Undress her-not inthe bedroom- and very very slowly, paying attention to each layer
*See "Light his fire" for more ideas.

Take your time with all of this and any other ideas you have. Make pleasure the goal. Have fun and Enjoy.

Always Feeling Loved

I need constant attention. Not high "maintenance" attention. Not obsessive pampering. Just little bits of attention. These little acts, words, and touches keep me filled and ready for love or love-making all the time. My mate does this for me. He gets the "ready" hot woman he wants without huge effort. Here is the list of things he does to keep me feeling Loved; just a passing caress-light touch on my hair or shoulder or behind, snuggling up behind me with a gentle hug and an ear nibble, saying "Hi Beautiful", love "sticky" note on my car window, a flower (dandelion will do) on my pillow when I turn back the covers to go to bed, folding the clothes out of the dryer, shoulder rub after I have been on the computer too long, standing with my towel when I get out of the shower and then drying me off gently and slowly, bringing me coffee in bed....I could go on and on. Life is great with him. I am here to stay. Ann

Ideas for Romance;

**You are driving. Pull over in a safe area. Unbuckle your seat belt. Lean over and gently take your love into your arms and plant a juicy deep gentle Looooonnnnggg kiss on her lips. Take your time taking their breath away. Buckle up and with a smug look on your face-drive on.

**Leave a message on their cell phone. Call when you know they will not answer. Tell them you love them. Tell them they are beautiful. Tell them they are sexy and you want them. Tell them something wonderful you know they want to hear. Be truthful, be creative, don't hold back.

**If you live in an area this is possible try it out. Kids in bed/no kids. Night has settled in. Get together a blanket, glasses, wine or something nice to drink, tissues or other needed "play" things. Take them outside under the stars and make a "nest". Come back into the house and blindfold your love....lead her out into the nest and let whatever comes naturally happen. Take your time. Enjoy the atmosphere. Enjoy each other.

**Come home with flowers, dessert, dinner, bubble bath, or something you know will please your love.

**Give your love a certificate for a massage-You are the massage therapist. Include a candle and "flavored" massage oil.

**Give a gift certificate for 1/2 hour of"anything goes".

**Partner has a job around the house they Hate and keep putting off. Find a way to do it or have it done for them.